Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I want one of those Star Trek food replicator thingies. I love the word thingies; it works well in so many different situations. WAIT, unless I would still have to grocery shop to fill that darn replicator. 'Cause that wouldn't really be saving me any time would it? Because as a single mom with 5 teenagers (Andrew still counts even though he's 9 time zones away, right?) everything I buy is do-it-yourself stuff that goes straight from the freezer to the oven/microwave. And the great thing is that my children think they know how to cook! When really all I taught them how to do is operate the oven/microwave and read the instructions on the box. And they "do-it-themselves" whenever they get home from school/practice/work, we call them yoyo's (your on your own). THAT way when I come home from work and one of the kids asks me what's for dinner I can honestly give them that blank stare that says, You must be joking right? Is it a holiday? Is it Sunday? Do I have a pizza in my hand? And even if it is Sunday and there might (very slight chance here) be something in the crockpot... I love how my spellchecker doesn’t like the word crockpot. It wants to change it to crackpot. What's it trying to tell me? But even if there is something in the crockpot only about half of the kids will eat it anyway. (Don't ask me what half of 5 is, because you KNOW that 2.5 kids is the average family size) Which means that some of them will still be having yoyo’s. Because, I don’t force them to eat what I cook. I’m a picky eater who has taught my kids to be picky eaters. It’s a conspiracy see. If picky eaters everywhere could PLEASE raise their children to be picky eaters too, we could eventually take over the world. Or, if one of you could invent something that would combine the freezer and the microwave into one appliance THAT would actually save me a step. This epitome of laziness (I’ll think of a better name later) could have glass doors so I wouldn't even have to open the door to decide what I want. See, now I’ve saved myself TWO steps! I was thinking about this last night after I got home from grocery shopping. I had noted on my Facebook status that I was grocery shopping because my kids think they need to eat everyday or something. And some of you replied to my status and I wanted to put this long story/novel of a response after your responses. (Is that arrogant, responding to your own message? Is it like saying I have a lot to say… about what I just said?) Anyway, I was trying to post my response from my phone, but I was REJECTED! It told me that I was not authorized to respond to my own status! So apparently it IS arrogant and Facebook does not allow arrogance in status responses. Either that or it was just way too long. But, in this case rejection was good, because what I was really supposed to be doing was reading my Sunday School lesson for next Sunday. The topic is personal revelation (you know, like answers to prayers) (I love teaching) and I was definitely distracted by Facebook and the Cotton Eyed Joe that was blaring from the other room where my daughters were doing there own unrecognizable version of the dance. Hmm, maybe I can work that in as an object lesson. You know, how the Holy Ghost can’t tell us anything if we aren’t listening. Because it has a still, small voice and can’t be shouting over Facebook and the Cotton Eyed Joe. Either that or I need to start researching ADD. And I apologize here and now to all of my children who had to resort to getting there stepmom or grandmother or wasting one of their precious high school electives on a Foods class to learn how to cook or sew or any of the other homemaking skills that NORMAL Mormon’s are supposed to know at birth. And a special thanks to Jayme, the Grandmas and all the teachers who graciously taught what I did not.
Posted by Jennifer at 9:18 AM